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Maddening crowds at the stores, annoying in-law visits, those cursed (yet well-intentioned) Salvation Army people outside the grocery stores with their bells… They all make you appreciate the true magic of Christmas – locking yourself in the basement with a gallon of egg-nog and drinking until you hallucinate the true reason for the season. THE BACON MESSIAH!

Our awesome friends over at What Do Bacon Do came up with this awesome ba-tivity scene to remind us that the holidays aren’t just about violent consumerism and increased rates of evergreen deforestation. It’s about BACON!

There’s also Santa, I suppose. Poor Santa. Year after year, house after house, Santa arduously stuffs your ill-gotten gains into some generic red and white sock-shaped travesty. His eyes blur and redden with boredom and resentment like a captive monkey forced to watch a VCR blink 12:00, 12:00, 12:00 for 400 years. Surprise Santa this year. Give him an opportunity to smile and laugh and say “This guy is awesome! I’m totally giving him extra presents this year. Elf #719! Toss me down that limited edition gold plated X-Box slash espresso maker! We’ve got a winner!” – Go get yourself a GIANT BACON STOCKING!

It’s already crispy! Just keep it warm by your fireplace and wait for it to magically swell with good things!

So Swing on over to WDBD or Etsy and get yourself some real holiday cheer!