Archive for the ‘BACON GIFT IDEAS’ Category
So those mad geniuses at Bacon Salt have done it again. They have come up with a fo’ realz bacon coffin that is on sale in their online store for the paltry sum of $2999.00.
“This genuine bacon casket is made of 18 Gauge Gasketed Steel with Premium Bacon Exterior/Interior, and includes a Memorial and Record Tube, Adjustable Bed and Mattress and Stationary and Swingbar handles. It also includes a bacon air freshener for when you get that buried-underground, not-so-fresh feeling.”
And you better believe that I’m serious as a bacon-induced heart attack when I tell you that had my tax return been big enough, I would have bought one and converted it into a couch for my man cave. I guess it’ll have to wait for now.
Just Google “Bacon coffin” for links to detailed articles from many credible news sources.
As mentioned previously, I recently tied the knot with The Vegetarian. As many of you know, the pre-wedding period involves showers, where the couples receive gifty things. Well, my now mother-in-law, well knowing of my shadowy superhero-esque alter ego of BetterThanAndrew, vigilante baconologist, was appalled that I didn’t have a bacon press. Being the upstanding enabler that she is, she rectified the situation by begifting me an Old Mountain cast iron press.
It’s quite the beefy (err, porky) unit. I’m not sure where it tips the scales but it strikes me as being around the 4-5 lb mark. Then again, I’m a terrible estimator so I could be way off. (Edit: confirmed at around 4 lbs) It’s hefty, though. It measures in at about 7.5″ in diameter and centers nicely in the flat portion of a 10″ skillet. It’s got enough surface area to cover 4 good slices vertically. It was pre-seasoned, which was convenient. No fussing with baking it in the oven for a couple hours before I could use it to smash some swine.
Construction is solid, IMHO. I don’t have other presses to compare it to but my meter is that I’m pretty sure that if I was attacked by a secret agent assassin in my kitchen I could use it to deflect his gunfire and then smash his face in, Jason Bourne style, with no consequential damage to the press. The handle is attached by two beveled flat head phillips screws, flush with the pressing surface so there’s no concerns with scratching your cookware, and secured topside with a washer and nut. A crush nut or split-washer would instill more confidence but I’m not terribly concerned about the nuts coming loose, even after assassin attack. If they did it’d be a quick fix with a screwdriver and a wrench (or pliars, or what have you, if you’re not someone with a Bob Villa-endorsed workbench). The handle is a nice chromed steel with a coiled grip. I’ve never had issues with it heating up during use and it has excellent knuckle clearance from the press surface. Some of the “competing” units I’ve since seen online have a stubby wooden knob or similar grip that’s looks like a quick ticket to blisterville if you’re not careful. The only downside I’ve found is that the heads of the screws can get grease packed up in them during the cooking process. All that really means is an extra couple seconds during the cleaning process, though. It’s of very small concern in the grand scheme of things.
It does what it was designed to do very well. It prevents curling, speeds up cooking time and evenness, and reduces spatter, even better than my old pan screens did. Clean up is a breeze. Hot water and a bit of Dawn and she’s all ready for another round with that smiling pig looking up at you as if to say “Anything I can do to help, sir!” It’s the quintessential bacon preparation tool, besides tongs, and I’m ashamed it’s taken me this long to own one. Bacon tested, BetterThanAndrew approved!
This bad boy is available from a number of online retailers for under $20.00. Do your bacon proud!
Ran across this Bacon Bracelet. Almost look too real. For $32 I would be too tempted to eat it! ahahahah
We’ve been on a bit of a tear with all the goodies that Madison Chocolatiers West have sent us. Below is a guest post from our esteemed contributor Big Red.
Not the Caramel Apple of Your Childhood
Let me first preface this by saying that the first job I ever had was working on an apple orchard. I’ve probably eaten every man-made apple concoction, including caramel apples, so I’m a pro, right? Well, I was until the other night when a friend introduced us to this behemoth of deliciousness and I was quite rightly put in my place. Ladies and gentlemen let my introduce a bacon-infused caramel apple, coated not only with caramel but creamy peanut butter and chocolate mixed with perfectly fried bacon bits. Now the average eater might consider running away from such a monstrosity. However, fear not my fellow feasters, these flavors were so finely crafted and blended by chefs at Madison Chocolatiers West (MCW) that even your youngsters would be begging for more.
The only concern I have is with regards to packaging. Cellophane wrapping is all fine and dandy but double-knotted ribbons are not, especially when they are the only thing standing between you, your four other friends and death, errr, I mean dessert. Buuuuuut, fast forward 30 minutes.
“That’s sick…how good that is” a fellow diner said between what were most definitely collective sighs of contentment, regret, and shortness of breath, and I whole-heartedly concur. As I dove into my friend’s leftovers (yes, I had already inhaled my own piece) I was aware that I was dangerously slipping into a modesty-out-the-window-let’s-pig-out-and-love-every-minute-of-it kind of moment, and yet, I did not care one bit. With each bite my mouth readily welcomed this power-packed flavor. It was like my teeth were mini drills happily chugging away through each layer: the crisp squirt of Grannysmith apple followed by a warm hug of caramel, a mouthwatering (by this point, quite literally) peanut butter explosion and concluding with dark chocolate mixed with what I swear was bacon just out of the frying pan (not possible given that this apple flew all the way from New Jersey and I was sitting in Seattle…but you get the gist). Now some of you may think, “But bacon and apple?” and I say to you that the bacon does not take center stage: each bite is a perfect balance of salt, sweet, and bacon love. So do me a huge favor: pull up your big boy (or girl) pants and dive in. You are not going to regret this!